Sister Aden Part Deux

 Let's see, we left off with my brother and I getting kicked out of school. Oh, this is my class photo. I'm in the third row, fourth from the evil one.

My parents put my younger brother into the public school, E.R. Dickerson Elementary School. It was located about a quarter mile from our house. But for me there was no intermediate school located near where we lived. So I was at home waiting for my parents to find me a place to go to school.

Well, someone had informed the Bishop's office that my brother and I were no longer attending Catholic school. My parents got a call from the Bishop's office telling them that, if their children were not returned to a Catholic school immediately, they could no longer receive the Sacrament of Communion. Well, being Southern Fried Catholic, this threw them into a quandary. I don't know exactly what happened next, but I do know they had to meet with Bishop Toolen to discuss my thievery. Some deal must have been made, because my brother and I were allowed to return to school.

My classmates were glad to see me back and I got the standard ribbing you would expect from eighth graders. Then the revenge plot began. My best friend, George,  felt I had been done wrong and proposed the counter attack. George and I had been making rockets. Remember, this was the beginning of the Space Age. Every kid was making rockets. George was skilled with explosives. His father was a hunter who reloaded his own ammo, so George had an endless supply of gun powder. George also had a large amount of fireworks. We're talking M-80's, cherry bombs, Roman candles, etc.

Our first attack was on the boy's bathroom toilet. George lit and flushed a cherry bomb down the toilet. Seconds later you heard this low boom. Moments later water started flowing from the toilet and out the door of the boy's bathroom. After that we waited a few days to see the reaction to our attack. Nothing. No reaction to the backed-up toilet.

So we went for the direct attack. Attack the head and kill the serpent. We decided to line the floor surrounding Sister Aden's desk with cracker balls. Cracker balls are a form of  fireworks that are exploded by throwing them on a hard surface or stepping on them. We did this after lunch one day.

All the class was seated and waiting for the bell to ring when Sister Aden entered the room. Sister Aden always made this dramatic entrance, sort of like Loretta Young, for those who know what I'm talking about. Anyway, she comes swishing through the door and her little witch's shoes hit the first cracker balls. "Bam!" Then "Bam, bam, bam, bam!" Sister Aden was doing the Mexican hat dance, hopping and a skipping all over the place trying to get out of the barrage of explosives.

When the smoke cleared, there stood Sister Aden, the veins in her neck pulsing, her face a blood evil red, glaring at us like "tell me who did this and I will rip their heart out." When she regained her composer, she said, "Let me tell you, none of you will leave this room until you tell me who did this! " We all sat there like perfect angels. No one said anything, though most knew who did it. 

It was one 1 pm. Then 2 pm came and we still all sat there in silence.  Three, three-thirty and the the bell rang. This was the end of the school day. We all sat there in silence with Sister Aden glaring at us. Four O'clock. the school bus had come and gone. We still sat in the classroom with no one saying anything. A knock came on the door, a parent wanted to know were her daughter was.  Aden told her to go away. Then another knock and another. Aden in disgust, finally stood up and said, "You're dismissed!"

I can't tell you how proud I was of my classmates that day. Anyone could have ratted George and I out, but done did. George and I had to walk home that day, because we had missed our bus. But it didn't matter. We were laughing our asses off over how Sister Aden had been hopping and jumping all over that classroom floor. We walked all the way home reenacting how Sister Aden jumped and hopped. First I would do it. Then George would say, "Oh no this is how she did it." We continued like this until we parted ways and went home for the night.

I understand from a friend of my wife, that Sister Aden is in a rest home and until this day she has no clue who put the cracker balls on the floor that day.